Take Two?

I have a confession.

I lied about the voluptuous part, that may have been true once a upon a time but my Daughter made sure to shrink a pair of my once larger assets. Thank the lord the booty's still rocking (and for those who know about the after shock, you can attest to that truth).

Another confession.

I am horrible at being sick. Seriously guys I would rather my kid pee on my leg than give me a cold which is exactly what she's done. I look like death, except cuter. A little full of myself, but that is possibly just a front to hide deep insecurities and distrustful inner self....Naaah just playing I'm just full of myself.

Where did we leave off?

Oh yes being in my mid twenties and finally going back to finish school. Please try not to be jealous while my Daughter and I go to rock matching back packs, though I would rather be going to daycare, I hear they have snacks AND nap time! Lucky pistols. Right now as I write this I'm watching my daughter possibly eat her bath crayon while I teach her some dance moves to the Glee Cast Version of Gold Digger. That's right, you did read that correctly, no need to go back and verify unless you want to just for the hell of it. I know, it's parenting done right. Do not judge, I love rocking out with my kid and the laptop has the best sound to use for our jams. That and she could give two figs what I'm doing right now as long as I sit on the porcelain throne attentively watching her. Which I am, but I'm not peeing or anything, the lid is down...I had to come back and add this part, I don't want you all thinking I just am going to the bathroom while typing. It doesn't work that way in this house. The beauty of typing well enough to not look at the screen, you all know what I'm talking about. What we achieved after years of internet use of AIM, and what our children will do by pre-k.

This is the most in a row I will most likely post. Boredom of four weeks before the big move will temporarily drive me to be motivated to this. Then I will probably drop it like a hot rock aside from posts asking for someone to trade places with me or to bribe people with help with homework. Just know I love you all!

On a more serious note will someone please tell me how to get my kid to stop eating crayons? Not that I don't appreciate the artwork in her diapers, but I'm so paranoid she is missing out on some vital vitamin and has gone to eating wax like an animal eating grass. Thank God it has not escalated to eating her own excrement. That would be the drawing line on my life.

How does it feel being randomly tossed into the single Mom role? Like my kid will always taste the damn rainbow. I'm out, pray for the unsuspecting crayons, I think they're starting to catch on, they seem to be going into hiding.